Aristotle wrote the ﬁrst book on inﬂuence in the 4th Century BCE. Since then, 57,796 books have been published on inﬂuence – 1,633 in the last 90 days.
All these books are about one thing – connecting. You cannot inﬂuence if you are not connected.
The irony is that most of these books teach techniques that get in the way of us connecting. Techniques such as mirroring, pacing, ‘feel, felt, found’ try to codify what we would normally do anyway. When we use techniques to do something that is natural it becomes clunky, inauthentic and often ineﬀective.
We humans are social creatures and have an internal need to connect and can do it naturally – it’s how we survive. Newborns do it from day one, and we do it easily with our friends naturally.
The process of connecting is simple – just don’t be a dick…or cow…and you’ll connect. Then you can inﬂuence.
As always I’d love your thoughts on this here.