The great relationship coach Lorna Patten says that we get to choose our feelings 100% of the time. No one else can make us feel anything. Whether it is love, fear, anxiety, offence or any other emotion it is 100% our choice to feel it or not.

So can (or should?) we be offended by what others say? That’s our choice too.

It’s our choice to be offended by something the media commentator, business man, politician or waiter says. Whether it’s considered vulgar, politically incorrect or off colour it is our choice to be offended. It is never someone else’s job to ensure we’re not offended.

Does that mean that we can say whatever we like and swear, defame and abuse to our hearts content and not take responsibility for it? Yes and no.

Yes we can say what we like – that’s up to us.

But it’s worth looking at how what we say effects how others perceive us. It’s not so much that you should be concerned about how you offend people, but rather what saying those things tells people about you. How would it effect their perception of you?

This gives you greater control and an amazing filter to assess your comments through. If you are saying things that harm how you are perceived, you may very well be being seen as a d!ck.

As always, I’d love your thoughts on this here.


Darren Fleming